i’m so unphotogenic what am i going to do when i’m famous
The Kum and Go. Or as my mom called it, the ejaculate and evacuate.
Jizz and jet
shoot and scoot
blow your load and hit the road
Bohemian Rhapsody is no one’s favorite song, but also everyone’s favorite song. Like, when someone asks what your favorite song is you never say Bohemian Rhapsody but when it starts playing on the radio I am pretty sure you crank it up and belt out every single lyric and you don’t even care you’re so proud.
school makes me want to end my life but then again so does watery ketchup
But how did Edward get it up if vampires don’t have blood
because i wasted money on this big informational book about the series i can tell you. Stephanie Meyers said that all the vampires had venom to replace all bodily fluids. He came venom. His penis was a literal snake. Yes
oH MY GOd thIS IS BETTER THAN ANYTHING I COULD HAVE HOPED FOr
There are two types of people in the world: those who react to learning that you can use touch screens with your tongue with disgust and those who immediately go to lick their phones.
i’m gonna go ahead and assume that the reason this doesn’t have many notes is because you’re all too busy making out with your phones
i’m so glad this has taken off because
i was right
"i just broke up with my -"
the worst thing is when someone insults you and they’re right